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Do you also talk to inanimate objects?

I caught myself apologising to my GPS for not following her instructions and I swore at SIRI.  She wasn’t happy!

Saying “Excuse me” when I am trying to get past my dogs amused my brother-in-law some years ago, because my sister does it too!

Then there’s explaining to the ants covering the kitchen counter that I don’t really want to kill them, and couldn’t they just stay outside where they would be safer.

I realise that dogs and ants aren't inanimate, but you know what I mean.

I signal to turn into my driveway and garage even though there is nobody within miles and that’s just the stuff I can easily remember.

The GPS is the worst though, because she completely intimidates me.   Especially if I have a route in mind, and she has to keep re-routing until I get to the part where I really need her help.   I am always worried she will get so irritated, she will decide not to assist me, so I tell her gently that I am going a different way, but will use her advice closer to the venue.   So far, she has tolerated my behaviour, but come the day……

Sports fanatics on PVR are another strange lot.   They yell at the TV, exhort the players to focus, work harder, run faster, yell at the ref, and the game finished at least an hour before.   Of course, it is equally strange to do it when watching TV live, I guess.

Investing inanimate objects with feelings is a further manifestation, begging your car to just get that extra 5 kilometres on zero petrol, pleading with your cell phone to let you finish the call on 1% battery, insisting your microwave heats items faster than the timer and the power can do are all strange, but even stranger is believing that they are on our side when things go right, and against us in some overall dastardly plan to make our lives difficult, when things don’t go to plan.

And I just caught myself politely responding to a voice message on my cell phone…

Although, telling a bottle of wine, as you open it at the end of a long day, “you are just what I needed” might be OK,  as long as it doesn’t answer back at any time!


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email:      tschroenn@accsys.co.za
twitter:   @TerylSchroenn

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